Struggling with my partner's lack of growth and dishonesty on our anniversary trip

My partner (31M) and I (31F) have been together for 10 years, friends since middle school. We've built a life together, but I'm feeling drained and disappointed by his lack of initiative and recent dishonesty. On our anniversary trip to Colorado, he lied about stopping at a dispensary before picking me up. This brought up old wounds from my childhood experiences with parental infidelity. Though he's apologized and made some positive changes since returning home, I'm struggling to move past the betrayal of trust. He has ADHD and uses cannabis frequently to cope with stress. While he works as a bartender and is pursuing a master's degree, I often feel I'm carrying most of the weight in planning our future and managing responsibilities. His hyperfixation on hobbies and difficulty following through on goals is causing me to doubt our compatibility long-term. I love him deeply, but I'm concerned about starting a family with someone who may not be able to fully step up as a partner and parent. Has anyone dealt with similar relationship challenges? How did you work through trust issues and motivational differences with a long-term partner? I'd appreciate any advice on moving forward or re-evaluating this relationship.