Hi everyone, I'm really struggling with a situation in my relationship and could use some advice. I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months now and things are generally great between us. However, I recently discovered that she's still in frequent contact with her ex from 2 years ago, who was emotionally abusive to her. They work together, so some communication is unavoidable, but it goes way beyond just work stuff. He's constantly messaging her, they talk about personal things, and he's still verbally abusive at times which really upsets her. I've expressed how uncomfortable this makes me and asked her to limit contact to only essential work communication. She agreed at first but nothing has changed. Yesterday she even organized a group gift for his birthday. I finally told her it's either me or him, which made her angry even though she said she chooses me. I'm at a loss for what to do. I care about her so much but I can't stand seeing her stressed and upset by this toxic person all the time. How can I help her understand she needs to cut ties with him for her own wellbeing? Am I overreacting by giving an ultimatum? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
